Student group at Rutgers stresses etiquette, leadership skills
Cha’mier Isom credits her academic success to the life lessons she learned as a debutante. That’s why the Rutgers junior has dedicated herself to bringing many of the structures and conventions of that phenomenon to campus.
Isom, a double major in criminal justice and Africana studies, is the co-founder and creative force behind I Demonstrate Educated Beauty – acronym: I.D.E.B. – a new student organization dedicated to empowering women by teaching business and social etiquette as well as leadership skills.
“I was the first one in my family to go to college, and I think my being a debutante in high school had a lot to do with it,” the New Brunswick resident says. “The women who advised us were very humble and passionate, and I appreciated having someone willing to teach me things I didn’t know, and help me get ready to go into the world.”
In many African-American communities, debutante balls have traditionally been a rite of passage for young women, Isom says, offering participants not only advice on proper behavior and language, but also friendships that follow them beyond high school.
Now Isom ‘s organization is providing the same opportunities to others. Open to any student on the New Brunswick-area campuses – male or female – I.D.E.B. meets Wednesday nights from 9:30 to 10:30. Discussions focus on such topics as the portrayal of women in the media, women in politics and society, and what is a lady.
“The atmosphere is formal and professional, but friendly,” says Zena Jubilee, a senior counselor at Rutgers Educational Opportunity Fund program who advises the year-old club. “For me, the goal is nurturing the spirit of sisterhood, promoting higher education among young ladies, training them in social graces and other attributes that would enable them to take their places as productive members of society, and exposing them to opportunities that can positively change their futures.”
There are no qualifications to join. The organization has drawn a multicultural following, with members from Egypt and Nigeria, among other backgrounds.
A key component is communal outreach, including an arrangement with Plainfield High School under which I.D.E.B. members serve as mentors to the Union County students. “We wanted to target schools with underrepresented and disadvantaged girls,” Jubilee says, noting that five pairs of mentors/mentees are already in the works.
“We want to be there to motivate them to become better students and to pursue higher education,” Isom says.
Conversation at the Murray Hall meetings often turns to how to present the best possible image to the world, a topic the Rutgers School of Arts and Sciences student has given much consideration.
“A lot of it has to do with speaking properly, knowing how your body language represents you,” she says. “Self-respect and confidence also matter. You have to always remember you’re representing someone, whether it’s your family, your university, or yourself. If you have a high level of self-respect, you know you don’t have to act out bad behavior.”
To that end, the group has sponsored or plans to sponsor workshops on such diverse topics as relaxation techniques, social etiquette, hygiene, time/money management, and job-search basics.
Since its first session in the fall of 2010, I.D.E.B. has grown from five members to 20; Jubilee and Isom are hoping for greater growth. They recruit members through flyers, word of mouth, the group's Facebook page, and Twitter.
Still a relative newcomer on campus, the organization has reached out to other groups as partners in community service. Members took part in December’s Big Chill 5-K Race/Walk to collect toys for needy children. A talent show last semester raised funds for Alzheimer’s research, while money collected at I.D.E.B.’s speed-dating event last Valentine’s Day benefitted Susan B. Komen for the Cure, a foundation dedicated to ending breast cancer. A similar event is scheduled for February 16.
Jubilee, a 1990 graduate of what was then Douglass College (now Douglass Residential College), works primarily with transfer students and non-traditional populations on campus. She believes I.D.E.B. has an important role to play.
“I love the fact that we are able to empower these ladies with the information they need to be successful,” she says. “Many of them have parents who did not go to college, and many don’t have role models to show the way. Our organization serves as that model, and that means a lot to me.”